C.J. kept a journal for the last few years of his life as he documented his journey with cancer and how his faith was challenged and tested. He also shared life and how his relationship and understanding of God grew as well. Here is just a peek into the amazing faith life of this young man:

June 21, 1974
Tonight I’m writing to record what must be a minor miracle. For the past 2 months, I have felt so physically and mentally low that I couldn’t remember what feeling good was like. At 18, I feel worthless, futureless, and worst-of-all, faithless.

But a couple of nights last week I went outside late at night and I talked to God. Notice I didn’t say prayed to Him but talked. I have always felt that I would have to accept whatever He has in store for me, but I never really understood this until last week. I also have always felt that you have to meet His plans head-on and deal with them as best you can, but I understood this better last week, too. I had begun looking to God as someone who set down a plan without any consideration for the person involved, but I know better now. In the talk I had with God, I tried to explain my feelings about the things that are happening to me, and somehow at the time, I felt I was getting a response. I felt I was communicating. As if He is answering my pleas Himself, things have changed for me lately.

I’m suddenly feeling better than I have in months. I know all of this may end tomorrow, but it has served as a reinforcement of my faith. Faith is something very hard for me to talk about, but I know if you can keep strong in your faith, everything else holds together easily. I am being totally honest when I say I depend on my faith. Wow. I’m getting into some heavy stuff. I’ve thought very, very much about my faith and could write pages and pages about it. I think to sum up all my feelings about it all I need to say is that I believe in God, I trust Him, and I find hope in Him. When you boil it all down, faith is actually a very simple thing.